It needs to snow.
Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "dspin9" journal:
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So as it turns out....Last summer was the last summer of my fabled 'childhood.' This summer im stuck with a job, a car that I dont want, and Bay City, Michigan. I want the old summers back...because right now i would up north on Lake Charleviox laying in a hammock, and hanging out with my cousins. I guess we're all just growing up too fast, or atleast I am. I dont want to grow up, and I know that this is getting repetitive but i dont feel like myself anymore, i feel like some other Tom, Dick or Harry with a Tim Light suit on. I dont really know what to say...
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Nothing.
Overbearing panic attack entrenching my veins
in an hour i'll be ok
i pray this pain will go away permanently someday
I'VE seen more than...
I should have to...
I'VE seen this on my own
this song is a,
poem to myself,
it helps me to live...
in case of fire,
BREAK the glass,
and move on into your own...
Yep that just about describes it.
I really dont know if I want to be here anymore.
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Taproot - Poem.
Im here in speech class and since we dont really have anything to do, i thought i would update. Anyways, my life isint all that interesting, so i never really have anything to say thus why i never update, that and i forget too. Im kind of depressed, I dont know why...well, what am i talking about i never know what im depressed about, it just happens. I'm playing tennis now...what a joke that is. Im probably just about the worst tennis player...well behind Hack Attack. My parents left me again this weekend...they always do this. Its either, they go out everynight on the weekends or they go upnorth...but what am i complaining about? I never spend any time with them anyways. Mr. Christenson died yesterday from a heart attack. Which is horrible because he was just about the nicest man i knew, and his family is wonderful.
Ever find yourself completely and utterly lost in society..?
Welll...thats it for now, i guess...
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: A Perfect Circle - Passive
Whats this....im updating?|
I dont really have anything to say, except that.....I just got back from Floridee. It was warm. =0)
Current Mood: content
Current Music: My mom stomping around upstairs
Ok, there was an unjustice in my journal about my cousin Peter. I said that he was an asshole, which is opposet the truth. Peter is not an asshole, hes an awesome guy that was just me speaking out of my ass. Ok heres some information about him, Peter is a senior in highschool at Glenbrook North in Northbrook Ill. He is a straight A student, and is on the swim, lacrosse, and Cross Country teams. He is planning to attend college, and though i dont know all of his choices, i do know that Purdue and Iowa are on that list. Hes also planning to study....Aviation do believe. Anyways, the comments i made in that last entry did peter no justice to the great guy that he really is. So i thought i would share.
Comment Kids. =0)
Singing to myself...|
Damn im bored, i just back from meet the pukes, it was so gay. So now im just sitting here doing nothing just singing Josh Groban because im bored. haha...
Anyways Boyne opened up last weekend, and that excites me because i can finally do something.
But im going to go, comment i guess...
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: JG - You raise me up...
Jane adopted me a dog.|
Jane got me a dog.=0) That made me really happy.
Ok so Chicago....The first day we were there....Thursday i think, we went down town to watch the parade. The go to see kermit get his arm ripped off...that was amusing. Ohh yeah and a dog balloon that had popped ealier and was being dragged along the ground. That night we ate dinner with the Yudells, that was cool because Alex and Hailey are aweesome, Alex is going to College in Montana and i hate him for it because he gets to ski, hunt, mountian bike, and do all sorts of cool outdoor shit whenever he wants. On friday we went rock climbing at Verticle Endevors. That was alright but my mind wasint on climbing, i had gotten really sick from Acid Reflux...first time in about a year though. =0) Today we just drove all day...i hate driving...we all agreed that next time we are flying. Well im going to wrap this up, im tired.
A little quant town north of Chicago, filled with giant houses, and stuck up spoiled teenagers driving porches and beemers. Yep im here for thanksgiving, and its alright. I like this town, but none of my cousins friends are here so there is not really anything to do. So im really bored, and suprisingly i miss Essexville. On the other hand, i love Chicago, the feel of a big city makes my head swell, and my adrenaline flow, i could go on for hours so i wont. Anyways BACK to Northbook...today randomly driving around the town, we saw a house that had to be upwards of 12,000 square feet. It was insane, im never going to have a house that big, it would be cool to visit not to clean and pay for. Besides ill never be that rich. I miss Essexville though because its so simple, and i dont know, familiar. But im going to go...ill update later about the whole trip...
Current Mood: bored
I have a cute ass.|
My weekend was great, thanks to someone special. =0D
Anyways, friday night Jane and I went to see Shall we Dance, it was a good movie for being a chick flick...i enjoyed it. Saturday, my father and i went to the northwood game with andy, and afterwards went to the Texan, then i came home and got a phone call "So are we going to do anything or not?" haha shes so cute. =0) So Jane ended up coming over and watching Super Troopers and we had a merry old time. I tried posting this earlier and it was much more detailed...but this computer is gay and never posted it, so sorry its a bit rushed. Well im out, later kiddies.
Current Music: Real Big - Mannie Fresh.
Sitting there in the deep cushy chair looking out the window into a world my mind cannot comprend, it is so beautiful the mountians rising far into the dark blue cloudless sky. I reach down to buckle the last strap on my ski boot, i reach around my head and slowly put my head phones on my ears. I get up and slowly collect my things, i dont know why i have been looking forward to this for so long, but now i was reluctant and nervous. I start walking out of the lodge, the lodge was old, lined with beautiful wood work, not elegant, but comfortable. Outside the air greated me with a soft crisp kiss, it was cold, but dry. I host my skis up over my shoulder and grab my poles and turn to stare at the mountian, intimitading in size, reaching into oblivion spotted with stands of trees and massive rock formations reaching out for me. Clicking into the bindings i slowly skate for the lift, the liftee a woman of about 32 greeted me with a nice smile and though the job is useless i was glad she was there, her smile gave me confidence. Riding up the old 2 person chair by myself i turn on my CD and relax, examining the terrian below me, then realising the extent of the wasatch mountian range, the salt flats and Salt lake city would be looming the distance i turned to view what might possibly be the most beautiful sight i have ever seen. Below me hundreds of thoughsands of people where busy living, children going to school, people working, people just living their lives out below me, what seemed to be just out of arms length. Then i snapped out of my moment of euphoria to realise i had to get off of the chair, i unloaded, and just skated to a point where i could look out over the entire area. After standing there for about 20 minutes, i started towards a run, it was a black diamond, entitled 'Hell-Raiser', i stoped on the edge of the cattrack and looked down, the run was beautiful, a mile long making wide sweeping turns down the mountian. Dropping on to the soft light powder from the light dusting the night before, i started making some turns at first they were awkward it had been my first time skiing in a couple weeks and i was reluctant to let myself go in uncharted territory, but after a few turns i started making these beautiful wide sweeping turns everyone more emotional then the last, flying down that beautiful ski run all i could hear was the soft beat from my headphones and the wind. The only things that mattered at that moment were me and that ski run, upuntill that point i had been so completely miserable, but at that point everything changed. From then on skiing was not only a hobby it was a lifestyle, it was living and breathing in me, with every turn i made, they were expressions of feeling, of guilt, remorse, depression, and they were all being released with every turn, i was talking with the mountian, telling it how i felt. From then on, i was happy, i was happy with myself, content with my life knowing that i would always have some way to express myself, some way to realease everything. I know most people find it stupid that someone can get such relief from something.
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: The rain...
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